Unexpectations are Real!!

It’s a new turning point and life’s just going to change ...a 100 more mts. to go. I almost dread the path ahead of me..no clue whatsoever …something I’ve been longing for but when u get it…u realize what you left behind. Why does life make us feel cheated? I fail to understand…somethings happen when u least expect them to....time just does'nt tell anything apart..and u realize that these 2 years were all in vain…but I’m sure in hindsight you’ll feel good about it.

I do have some expectations…expectations which have been driving me…goals that keep me alive. I don’t want to mix the two…they are different but why do I tend to intersperse them. At this point in time…I feel I have no goal ahead…life is a drab …nothing to drive me through. Is this what I always wanted? Sitting in my office at SISL, when I think of those days, was this the only thing I struggled for.

I had these so called goals in my life each for a specific time. But whenever I achieved it, it was superseded by another super ordinate goal…a purpose which was in my subconscious, an aspiration not acceptable, but something I wanted really badly. You strive and drive till the end to attain the nothings just to realize they never mattered. Mind filled with bewilderment, am I a masochist when I claim to be an optimist, happiness being my ultimate aim. But then why do I end up hurting myself, without which life would be so easy but except the roller coaster ride it takes you through and the mirages it forms…a mirage of the unknown mirth which I so desire. But sadly, it’s just a mirage!